“37 Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
Matthew 10:37
As I was sitting reflecting on what to speak on this morning I thought back to a woman I know who is a good friend. She had lost her eldest son unexpectedly on the day of his high school graduation. He had surgery several weeks before and he got the all clear and was supposedly fully recovered, but due to some kind of complication from the surgery he had something go amiss during his recovery and sadly, he passed away. Honestly I was ill-prepared to handle the conversation I had with her many years after her son’s death about her salvation and I worry there may be others in the church who have encountered similar instances and either unintentionally created a block to that person following Jesus because of the way they handled it or just bypassed the conversation all-together because it was honestly, just too difficult to talk about or maybe bypassed it because you didn’t know what to say.
Introduction
A strong way to approach these instances when someone balks at becoming a Christian because it may mean they won’t see their family in the life to come is to focus less on “attacking parents and their religious decisions” or “condemning family traditions,” and focus their attention more on the Biblical principle that every soul is personally responsible to follow God’s revealed truth above inherited religion.
The idea is to stay respectful, Biblical, and evangelistic.
Most people inherit religion the same way they inherit culture, language, or traditions - someone says:
• “I’m Baptist because my parents were Baptist.”
• “I’m Catholic because my grandparents were Catholic.”
• “I’m Methodist because that’s how I was raised.”
One of the most common rebuttals I get when talking with others about their soul is that when I show them what the scriptures say their reply is “it isn’t what their family believes.”
But the real question is not: “What did my family believe?”
The real question is: “What does Christ teach?”
God has never accepted a person merely because they followed family tradition. Throughout scripture, faithful people often had to leave the beliefs of their families in order to follow God.
Together this morning we’ll cover five different points concerning following the tradition and/or religion of your family and parents rather than following what God has instructed us to do.
Point 1 — God Has Always Called People To Come Out from Tradition
In the Old Testament book of Joshua we read of how Abraham left the religion of his fathers. Joshua had assembled all the elders, leaders, judges and officials of the tribes of Israel and he tells them to not serve other Gods in chapter 23. Then in chapter 24 and verse 2 he reminds them that even Abraham left the gods his father served in order to serve Jehovah God. We read
“2 Joshua said to all the people, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Long ago your ancestors, including Terah the father of Abraham and Nahor, lived beyond the Euphrates River and worshipped other gods. 3 But I took your father Abraham from the land beyond the Euphrates and led him throughout Canaan…”
Joshua 24:2-3a
Abraham chose to obey God over his inherited religion – his father’s religion.
Well Charlton, you might say, that’s the old testament, we’re under the new covenant. You see, from this example we can learn that faithfulness to God sometimes requires breaking with tradition.
But let’s see what we find in the New Testament. Let’s take a look at the Apostles, who before they were Apostles they were disciples of Jesus and that meant leaving their former beliefs.
You see, most of these men were like many other Jews in the first century - they sincerely followed traditions that conflicted with Christ’s teachings – yet these men put away their traditions when they became followers of Jesus.
Jesus repeatedly challenged the traditions and doctrines of men and their inherited religious systems.
Jesus said:
“9 They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules” but I think I much prefer the way the KJV puts it: “9 But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”
Matthew 15:9
Sincerity alone is not enough if the truth is missing.
Point 2 — Every Person Is Individually Responsible Before God
We Will Not Be Judged as Families
In Paul’s Second Epistle to the Corinthians he teaches that each person will answer for himself.
“10 For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”
II Corinthians 5:10
What Paul did not say was
• “You will be responsible for following what your parents believe?” or
• “You will be judged according to the religion you were you born into?” or
• “Entry into heaven will depend on what tradition your family followed?”
Paul said the exact opposite. He even delivered a charge of accountability to Christians in the very next verse
“11a Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others.”
11 Corinthians 5:11a
Ezekiel’s Principle
We can also look back to the Old Testament to find that this is not a new principle created for the New Covenant. In the book of Ezekiel we find a very similar context.
“20 The soul that sinneth, it shall die.”
Ezekial 18:20
Pretty stark statement isn’t it. It doesn’t say each soul will answer for what mom or dad or gramps believed. It says each individual soul stands accountable before God for their own sins.
Parents, grandparents and friends can influence us in our spiritual life, but they cannot obey for us. The Mormons take that concept way further and teach that they can pray the dead into heaven. But such a concept is not to be found in the Word of God so we can know it is a false teaching.
Point 3 — Jesus Must Come Before Family Loyalty
This is one of the hardest truths in Scripture.
Jesus never taught disrespect toward parents. The Bible commands honor toward father and mother. But it also teaches us we must put God before family and reinforce the principle that Jehovah and obedience to Him have priority over family when the two conflict.
A few key verses we find this principle in:
“37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.”
Matthew 10:37
That is a direct teaching straight from the Lord telling us that loving Him above any parental ties is required of us. Luke puts it even more starkly saying:
“26 If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”
Luke 14:26
Hate. Now that there is a pretty strong word in the English language, and I wanted to understand exactly what Luke was telling us Jesus said in the context of the time and place he said it. So, I studied it a bit.
The Greek word for “hate” there in verse 26 is miseō and in the form it is used here (misei) it means “to hate” or “to detest” and in some cases “to love less.” In context of the verse itself Luke is saying if our family demands or beliefs are in conflict with what the Lord has said we are to defer to Christ over family. What might be a better extrapolation in context for our time is that Jesus is saying following him, being a disciple of Christ requires such a high priority FOR Christ in our lives that all other ties, including our parents, children and other family and friends should be secondary when they come into competition with our obedience to Christ.
Christ must still and always come first.
Jesus said division would happen. He warned us in the Gospel of Matthew, that following Him could divide families.
“35 For I have come to set a man against his father and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.”
Matthew 10:34-36
Not because Christians seek conflict — but because truth sometimes forces decisions. Jesus is not giving us a license to neglect or mistreat family in these verses. In fact the scriptures continually reinforce that we are to honor our parents and care for relatives (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1-3 and I Timothy 5:8). But when faced with the truth of God’s Word over what our parents did or didn’t do, our eternal life will be in jeopardy if we do not put God before all else and all others.
Some people will refuse baptism into Christ because their parents would be upset or “I’d be leaving the church I grew up in,” or simply because their family wouldn’t understand.
But no family tradition can take precedence over the gospel.
Point 4 — The New Testament Shows the Pattern for Becoming a Christian
The question is not “Which denomination is closest?” The question is “How did people become Christians in the New Testament?”
The Biblical pattern is clear:
1. Hear the gospel — “17 So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”
Romans 10:17
2. Believe in Christ — “16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
John 3:16
3. Repent of sins — “38 Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins…”
Acts 2:38
4. Confess Christ — “…if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Romans 10:9
Ahh, that’s one of those scriptures isn’t it… one of those scriptures that gets people in trouble, sends them down a rabbit hole – and all because they cherrypicked what they wanted the Bible to say instead of listening to what it says in whole.
5. Be baptized for the remission of sins — “Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.”
Mark 16:16
That is how one simply becomes a Christian — nothing more and nothing less. Some friends, some family members even don’t believe some of the things I just read to you. They’ll focus on one verse and not all the verses in context together. They’ll say “well it says right there in John 3:16 you just have to believe and you will be saved.
A man walked into a doctor’s office and saw a framed statement on the wall that read: “Take two pills.” The man wrote that down and went home, found some medicine in his cabinet, and started taking two pills every day.
A week later he became terribly sick so he returned to the doctor. When the doctor came into the exam room he said, “Doc, I did exactly what your instructions on the wall said – I took two pills! And I’m sick as can be!”
The doctor folded his arms across his chest and with an incredulous look at the man he replied, “You only read one line. The full instructions were: Take two pills after meals, for seven days, for headaches only!”
The problem wasn’t that he followed words from the doctor, no, the problem was that he followed PART of the doctor’s words while ignoring the rest.
The world wants to do the same thing with scripture. Someone can pull one verse from the Bible and build a belief around it, but God did not give us isolated sentences – He gave us an entire revelation. One passage explains another. One command balances another. One example sheds light on and illuminates another example.
The king of liars, satan himself, quoted scripture to Jesus in Matthew 4 where it describes satans attempt to make Jesus turn from Jehovah with his temptations, but he only used part of what God had said. Let’s read one of those interactions from that account:
“5 Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple 6 and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, “He will command His angels concerning you,” and “On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.’” 7 Jesus said to him “Again it is written, You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.”
Matthew 4:5-7
So, what do we understand from this. We can see the exact same manipulation of scripture by satan which we see in the so-called ‘religious’ world today. Taking two totally separate scriptures and putting them together to deceive the hearer OR just taking a single scripture and not including the fuller picture with other scriptures.
But Jesus set satan straight didn’t He.
Jesus answered satan by bringing in the whole truth, the fuller truth of God’s Word. The lesson here is clear: a verse taken alone can be misunderstood, misapplied, but the whole counsel of God brings understanding.
Point 5 — We Can Respect Our Parents Without Following Religious Error
This is important to emphasize because we want the lesson to stay compassionate.
You can and should love your parents and all our earthly family. We should honor our upbringing if it was an upbringing based in love. And we should also appreciate their sincerity, while still recognizing that sincerity does not replace Biblical authority.
Many parents pass down to their children what they honestly believe. But Scripture — not family history — must be the final authority.
A person should never reject truth simply because what you are teaching is not how they were raised.”
If the New Testament teaches something different from family religion, then Christ calls on us to follow Him, not blindly follow a religious path because it was one which our parents followed.
A young man once told a preacher, “I’m a Christian because my parents were Christians. My grandparents were Christians too. That’s just how I was raised.”
The preacher smiled kindly and asked him, “If your parents had been atheists, what would you be?”
The young man thought for a moment and finally admitted, “I guess I’d probably be an atheist.”
The preacher nodded and said, “Then maybe you haven’t really decided what YOU believe yet.”
That conversation bothered the young man for weeks. For the first time in his life, he realized his faith had mostly been inherited, not examined. He knew the hymns, the routines, the traditions, and even the right phrases to say in Bible class — but he had never truly opened the Scriptures to see whether these things were so.
So, he began reading the Bible for himself.
Not devotion books. Not church pamphlets. Which are all good tools if based in the Bible. And not merely what his family had always said.
Just Scripture.
He started in the Gospels and watched Jesus challenge long-held traditions. Then he came across Paul teaching the Bereans. And in Acts 17:11 it described the Bereans:
“…they received the word with all eagerness, examining the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.”
Acts 17:11
What struck him was that the Bereans didn’t even blindly accept the Apostle Paul. They checked the Scriptures personally.
Years later, the young man said something that stayed with that preacher forever:
“I’m grateful my parents gave me faith — but I’m even more grateful God gave me the Bible.”
This leads naturally into an important spiritual truth: God never intended for faith to be secondhand. A godly heritage is a blessing, but eventually every person must decide, “What does God’s Word actually say?” not merely, “What have I always heard?” Jesus repeatedly said, “Have ye not read?” because God expects us to seek truth personally.
The greatest gift a person can give his family is not blind loyalty to tradition — but obedience to the gospel.
One day, not a single one of us will stand before God with our parents beside us. We will each stand alone before Christ. The question will not be whether we followed family tradition, but whether we followed the truth revealed in the New Testament.
My lady friend I mentioned at the outset. She is distraught at the idea of not having her son here with her in this life – we can all understand that. But if I had the opportunity fresh and new to talk with her now I would tell her that she needs to concern herself with where SHE will be on judgement day. I’m not God. What I do know though t5548cxis that Jehovah God our creator has provided us with the requirements for being with Him. Every time I think about this type of situation the first thought that pops into my mind is Luke 9:60 where Jesus says
“60 Let the dead bury their own dead.”
Luke 9:60
In my mind it’s saying there isn’t anything you can do about the dead, but you can do something about your own spiritual life.
Now that verse is talking about following Jesus and not to worry about those who are spiritually dead and instead to focus on the living and God’s kingdom. But I believe both ideals can apply.
Every generation must choose faithfulness for themselves, each individual must seek out and search the scriptures to see for themselves the path Jehovah would have them travel to get to heaven.
And to get to heaven the pathway is very simple – and you can discover it for yourself very easily by reading and studying what the scriptures say to do. We’ve already discussed the first five steps. Hear, Believe, Repent, Confess and be totally immersed in the waters of Baptism. But there is a sixth, very important step. And don’t just take my word for it, read it for yourselves. That sixth step is we must continue living our lives in a Christ-like life. This idea, this command if you will, we see in several places of the New Testament but let’s look at just one. In the book of Romans.
“4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”
Romans 6:4
“Newness of life.” An interesting phrase. It might make us think rightfully of a newborn baby – full of innocence, clean of all the sin and mire we trudge through every day when we are outside of God. But because of baptism we are clean of all that sin and mire. As we go through our lives year after year, we surely will stumble along the way, but because we have put our faith in Jehovah God and His son we have an avenue to become clean from sin again, just like a newborn baby. And once again we can continue to walk in the ‘newness of life’ through repentance and prayer.
This morning, and every day for that matter – it doesn’t have to just be on Sunday’s, we have the opportunity to turn our lives to Christ. To follow Him in baptism if we have never done so – and not because of our parents or our traditions but because we have studied for ourselves what God would have us do. And if we have been baptized but we have taken on sin in our lives then we can repent and ask Jehovah God for forgiveness so we too can once again return to living a Christ-like life.
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